Tuesday, November 29, 2011

musings on a minute

Often, we think in increments of time.
It is only natural, as this is how we were born into the world.
I, for instance, was born at 8:48 pm, on the fifth day of the third week on the seventeenth day in the first month in the year of 1992.
That's a lot of numbers.

We act through what we know, and what we know is time: clocks, watches, sundials, programs, calendars, bells, schedules, alarms - these set the standard for our daily activity. We move in and out of action based on this thing called 'time'; in and out of days, in and out of weeks, in and out of years, in and out of lives...

But what does time profit a man?
A little order to chaos?
Oh, how 'little' that order may be; when we claim to lose time, claim to need time, claim to never have enough time...It's all foolishness really, for time was invented for structure and demand. Time was invented for mortal minds.

We cannot see this thing which is nothing.
So why let it cause so much pain?

If time is for man - a temporal purpose at best - then let us use it for such a cause.

Do not let impatience cloud God's work.
His clock runs different than ours.
(Sheep Falls on The Henry's Fork)

Battered, bruised, broken;
I cannot move for pain.
Thousands undivided:
Pressing down on my skin
Damp jaws devour my flesh,
Guiding bits on with their moist
Saliva and blood.
The torrential battle forever
Raging on: the force consumes me.
Those below scream for help,
For benevolence.
Friends now enemies and enemies
Friends as each tattered break
Moves us closer toward eternity's end.

Some call me endless -
A base, a foundation, a rock -
But here I am, wounded,
Water's oppressed foe.
Droplets a battalion
Ending my everlasting soul.

Time and pressure plague all.

Friday, November 11, 2011


Today I am thankful -
It may not be much -
But today
I am thankful
For love and such.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

the most wonderful time

I love November. It is perhaps my favorite month of the year (next only to January and December). This three month span is by far the happiest for me, regardless of circumstances in life. It doesn't matter what's going on in the world, I am almost always found with a smile on my face. The crisp air is part of it, to be sure - but the wonderful music, happy people and addictive holiday spirit all play a part as well. And of course there's the food...
I don't necessarily have a specific reason for loving this season so much, but love it I do, and love it I will.

I embraced the designer in me the other day and redid my entire room - starting with the bed. Since I have no roommate I decided to push the extra bed next to mine, creating one huge, brightly colored and totally bounceable bed. It totally opened up the entire room, and for some reason seeing it look so pretty has motivated me to not only make my bed each morning (something I have never done in my life...ever), but to also keep things in their proper place. I've been getting better at the whole 'keeping your room clean' bit since college (partly because you can get thrown out to the streets for a messy room here) but now I actually want to be in a clean room! I know I'm a bit behind on this - but really, I've never felt so accomplished before - having such a clean and spacey room! It's spectacular.

I've also been cooking more: making homemade meals instead of eating frozen foods, and eating three meals a day! (That's a new one for me too - I hardly ever eat breakfast.) Even though I don't have class till 11, I've started waking up at 8 each day, and today I even did it with a smile on my face - no grumbling at all! I've been saying my morning and evening prayers without forgetting, running much more frequently than I used to, and I've even found time to practice - something I've been missing out on for a long while now. And I can't even feel my achy arm anymore because I'm just happy I can still play! It makes me wish I had a piano in my room - but I suppose the walk is good for me, even in this windy weather.

I'd like to credit these changes to my spectacular awesomeness as a human being, but I know it has got to be something in the air, because I've always wanted to be this person I've become and it hasn't happened till now. The desire was always there, but the action wasn't, you know? There's just something about this season that finally provoked me off my lazy butt - and boy am I grateful.

It's only the 2nd day of the month, but so far - November rocks.