Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Monday, August 27, 2012

Darn you technicalities...

Some people still have not realized that I am no longer on Facebook, and the response each time I tell them otherwise is the same: "But I loved reading your posts!"
While your comment is kind, I think the fact that you haven't noticed the absence of my twenty posts a day is significant, especially since it has almost been a month since I deactivated my account. Not that I consider myself of higher importance than the rest of your friends, or that I consider myself above anyone in anyway for deactivating my account; in reality all this change has taught me is that Facebook is mostly just a waste of valuable time and opportunity, and is much too overwhelming. All it does is dull the senses and make one oblivious to outside life.

I realize this statement is somewhat lessened by the fact that I am blogging about it, and the fact that I actually love posting on Facebook, most of the time, and that I still have a twitter account, but hopefully these images will make you forget how human and ridiculous I am, and make you laugh instead:

Man. Hate it when that happens.

On a side note, should any of you enjoy reading my thoughtless drone drabble, I am still an occasional tweeter - and you are more than welcome to follow me here: https://twitter.com/oymadelinemarie

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Merlin, sans the beard...

Those of you who know my father, particularly those unfortunate enough to have ever played against him will understand the following statement best of all:


In all honesty though, my father has some magical ability within himself to always, and I mean always win a game. It does not matter what the game is, who is playing, or how long my father has been acquainted with the rules - he will win, and he will win by a landslide. 

Take today for example. My brother Paul and I decided to challenge him to a game of Settlers of Catan; a stupid decision really. Despite the fact that we knew he would win, it was still upsetting to watch. Not only did he build a monopoly over the oar mart, but he also somehow managed to cast a spell over me and Paul, causing us to roll only numbers that would benefit his hand. We must have rolled the number 11 at least once every rotation, which is, of course, where he had built his multiple cities and settlements. You don't have to be familiar with the rules of the game to know that rolling an 11 in dice has very low odds...so to roll it once every three or four rolls is just ridiculous. And of course, my father was the ONLY one who benefited from a roll of 11. All because of luck? No...no, he's definitely a wizard.

Now look at last weeks Sunday game: Ticket to Ride. Somehow my father not only managed to draw  all the routes with the highest point value, but he managed to complete them all before running out of trains...and draw three or four more routes that overlapped with the ridiculously impossible ones he had just completed...and get longest train... and use up every last one of his trains first. He even gave us all an extra two turns, and we STILL lost!

This man can also watch any trivia show and out-guess any contestant on air. He's definitely the man you want to get stuck in the cash cab with.

Unfortunately the only child he seems to have taught this magical ability to is Sam.
Don't even get me started on that kid...

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I'm going to have a Quiddich Pitch in my backyard someday....

Tonight I was sitting at the dinner table with my family (per the usual custom) and we were having a little chit chat about life. Paul was leading the discussion with a riveting tale of his adventures with some ASU professor who studies clouds or something; Mom and Dad listening in silence, Luke throwing out the occasional scientific term, Joe playing with his zucchini and dreaming of all the things he could be building on minecraft...it was the daily dinner routine with a twist - Paul as the conversationalist, not me.

Don't let the fact that I have no recollection as to the name of the Professor or the events that transpired go unnoticed...It was a very dull speech with very big words that simply flitted through one ear and out the other (no offense to the speaker intended).
The words "open minded" comes to...well...mind as I think of the differences between my brother Paul and me, but only in so far as the idea that my mind is literally...open. I mean, Paul can try to explain science to me - draw the little waves on a white board, or sing it in a song - but no matter what he tries to cram in, the second I stand up it'll all fall back out.

That tangent was much longer than intended.

Back to dinner.

So Paul was talking about his day, and somehow we got on the subject of what kind of research he'll do someday, so naturally I suggest that he joins those research teams trying to create an invisibility cloak...because...well...it's an invisibility cloak! Apparently I'm the only one who saw the logic behind this however, because both Paul and Luke immediately turn to me as if I'm mental and just shake their heads and say "Maddy, he's not an engineer."


I just think they're jealous cause we all know I'm going to marry the man who invents one. Or whoever finds Harry's old one...I bet that guy will be super cute and British.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

my thoughts on current commercials

McDonalds? Olympic winning athletes don't eat your food. Except maybe the ice cream, because - well...it's ice cream.
Barack Obama? You've been our president for the past 3 years. Please stop pretending otherwise.
AT&T? No one could run and listen to the Odyssey all the way through. Not an Olympic athlete - not Odysseus himself.
Go On? You look funny...maybe...kind of...I've seen your commercial twenty times and I'm still not sure...
Olympic mom commercials? Stop making me cry.
Panasonic? Buying your high def. TV will not make me any more American. Nice try though.
That one show that says it's about firefighters? You're actors...pretending to be firefighters. Your commercial is silly. I'm never watching your show because of it. Bleh.
Morgan Freeman? I don't remember what this commercial is about...except...Morgan. Freeman.
America's Got Talent? Ha ha ha...that guy has funny hair.

man. I need to go to bed.